January 17 – Giving a full-ass effort

“Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.” Henry J. Kaiser

I was cruising around on Facebook the other day and I saw an interesting meme. It was a photo of a picturesque cabin in the woods, and the caption was “I want to build a life from which I do not need a vacation.” Most memes I just scroll past without any regard or thought, but this one stuck with me.

We all dream of a carefree life. We dream of having the resources we need to be able to truly do the things we want to do, when we want to do them. The idea of being able to sleep in when it suits us, or to take the whimsical trip to pursue an interest seem romantic on cold, rainy mornings while preparing for work. Perhaps it was just an accident of the wording, but this particular meme suggested not that the person sought a life without work, but rather a life from which they didn’t need a vacation.

Like anyone else, I have my days when I absolutely hate my job. There are days when the stress is high, the problems are piling up, and the people around me seem less than cooperative. When I step back, take a breath, and honestly reflect, those days are few. And, most of the time it is my own head that needs to be checked rather than some outside issue.

When I think of making a life from which I do not need a vacation, my mind doesn’t automatically go to a place where there is no work.. My mind goes to a place where the work I am doing is meaningful, and enjoyable in the moment. I think of a place where I, and the people I work with are growing as individuals. A place where at the end of the day, I am exhausted, but fulfilled. To me, that is a good life.

At the end of last year I was having a hard time accepting myself. I was feeling like a failure for having gained back about 30 of the 130 pounds that I lost. Rather than wallowing in self-pity for my misstep, and accelerating my weight gain, I made a conscious effort to do something different. This 365 project is my attempt to right the ship.

I don’t say this to be boastful. To be clear, I have nothing to boast about. The struggle is real and keeps going. I say this, as much as anything, to remind myself that I cannot accept failure that is born of a dearth of effort. If I give my level best, and fail, then I can sleep well at night. But if I fail because I have given a half-ass effort, then I have no one to blame but myself.

Bobby-C’s thought for the day.. When it comes to losing a substantial portion of my ass, half-ass just won’t cut it. I must go full ass or nothing at all.

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